Baby Blood

An ancient evil from the beginning of time makes it way into a circus women’s unborn fetus. The evil talks to her and makes her unwillingly kill people so that he may grow. She flees the circus, not wanting to hurt anyone but soon realizes that is not a choice she has. She tries to settle down, thinking she can ignore it but soon gives in and travels from place to place claiming more victims in the name of evil.

I wasn’t real sure what to expect from this movie going in. The premise sounds like it would be a cheese fest but the movie takes itself pretty seriously. The version I got is dubbed into English from the original French. I usually only get subtitled versions but this was all I could find. It is done cheaply because there are about 3 or 4 conversations that were left undubbed. They didn’t seem important but still annoying. They problem with dubbing is that you may lose the original intent as far as context. This may have been the case with this film. I found the baby talking to be over the top and a bit cheesy in some points. It is hard to tell if this is from the dub or if the original was portrayed this way as well. There was a bit of gore in this movie and it was done pretty well for the most part.  This movie isn’t going to wow anyone but it was better than allot of other horror films I have seen.

Overall 5

Gore 5

Fun 3

Creepy 6

Scary 3

Deaths less than 10

Ending 5

Rewatch 4

Review by Elvis Lawson

Broken (2006)

Recently released on Dimension extreme DVD, the box cover promises intense gore.  I wouldn’t pay too much attention to this. Broken is the story of a madman that kidnaps women and makes them play deadly games (kinda a backwoods rip-off of Saw) and then forces them to be his slave. There is not much more to the story than that and there lies the major flaw in this movie. While there are parts that live up to the box cover, they are few and far between. The overall story is very boring with not much going on. It has very little action and even less character development. This is honestly very poorly written. I don’t mind killers where we don’t know motivation, but here it really seemed like we should have gotten to know why he was doing this.

While poorly written, it is not all lost. I do think it was well shot and some parts were flat out beautiful. The credit sequence is quite intense and really fools you into thinking you are about to get a nice movie. Overall it is very boring with some decent bits of gore. It does have a pretty good ending but it is not worth your time to make it to it.

Overall 4

Gore 6

Fun 2

Creepy 6

Scary 4

Deaths less than 10

Ending 6

Rewatch 2

Review by Elvis Lawson

Hellavator: The Bottled Fools AKA: Gusha no bindume

Set in a futuristic Japan which is a bit like “big brother” in George Orwell’s 1984 (although not near to the extent Orwell took it). A school girl (with some serious mental demons) accidentally starts a huge fire by dropping her cigarette (cigarettes are a felony in this world). While the girl is riding up to the top of the huge building  we meet some strange characters, including some very creepy prisoners that are being transported to be executed. A bomb explodes (seemingly caused by one of the prisoners) and brings the elevator to a stop. The movie delves into all of their secrets, and boy there are some weird ones, as they all try to survive each other.

The film uses lots of strange editing to differentiate between the past and when the girl is reading someone’s mind. It also uses an abundant amount of quick editing which works pretty well here. It also has a pretty creepy soundtrack through much of it which really adds to the strangeness of it. I found this film to be petty intriguing where allot of “mind trip” type movies fail. It makes you wonder allot and throws lots of curveballs but never goes too far in my opinion. This film is in Japanese with English subtitles so bear that in mind if you look for it. The subtitles stand out well and are not hard to follow without missing action. I would say this is one of the most interesting films I have seen this year.

Overall 8

Gore 6

Fun 6

Creepy 8

Scary 6

Deaths less than 10

Ending 8

Rewatch 6

Review by Elvis Lawson

Behind the mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon

 

A mockumentary about slashers/serial killers. It goes on the idea that Jason Voorhees, Freddy Kruger and Michael Myers were real. It shows a behind the scenes of filmmakers making a documentary about a man named Leslie Vernon who claims he will be the next slasher in line. He was believed to be possessed by the devil when he was a child, so the town tied him up and threw him over a waterfall to drown him. Sadly for them he didn’t die. They interview the guy as he is getting ready for his big comeback if you will. This has some great comedy if you are a fan of the slasher genre. For instance him talking about how hard he works on his cardio and when asked why he says that he has to be able to run like a gazelle and not get tired and “plus there is that thing where you make it look like you are walking while everyone else is running their asses off, and I gotta stay with ‘em” absolute gold.

Everything is going fine until he actually starts going through with it and the documentary crew decide they can’ let him do this. Will they be able to stop him, or was it all part of his plan? It is all a pretty interesting setup with the first 2 acts being a documentary and the last act an actual thrasher movie. You could consider this in the same vein as Scream but I actually think I liked this one more. It has some nice cameos such as Robert Englund as the “Sam Loomis” type character and Kane Hodder as a resident of Elm St. It also has the old lady from Poltergeist as the librarian that explains the entire back story.

Overall 8.5

Gore 6

Fun 8

Creepy 6

Scary 6

Deaths less than 10

Ending 7

Rewatch 7

Review by Elvis Lawson

Freakshow

This is yet another David Michael Latt/Asylum production. This is a sort of remake of Tod Browning’s “Freaks” (1932). This is very low budget and it really shows in the lack of sets. Everything takes place on the same small circus set but that doesn’t really affect the story much. A group of outlaws plan on ripping off of traveling carnival. Then they decide to take it further by having the girl of the group try to seduce the owner so he gives up his secret money. Everything is not as it seems with him though. They soon find out how tight of a family the circus family is. There is not a lot in the way of story development and it seems a bit drawn out sometimes. I feel a bit more could have been added as well as some better dialogue. The use of some real circus sideshow “freaks” adds a nice touch. I loved the soundtrack which was all very old sounding records that seemed like something you might have heard at a carnival in the 20’s or 30’s. It really added a nice touch and gave a pretty eerie feeling to the slower parts of the movie.

As I stated before, the movie does move a bit slow in parts and what you know is coming seems to take a while to get there. With this said however I was not fully prepared for what happened in the last act. I was quite pleased (and a bit disturbed) by the last 10 minutes and it made the entire movie worthwhile in my opinion.

Overall 6 (B-movie rating)

Gore 8 (all of which occurs in the last act. Be patient and wait for it)

Fun 5

Creepy 6

Scary 4

Deaths less than 10

Ending 8

Rewatch 5

Review by Elvis Lawson

The Texas chainsaw massacre: The Begining

This is a prequel to the events in the remake of the original (confusing enough for you?)Essentially it tells the origins of the characters from the remake, which includes Leatherface as well as R. Lee Ermey’s character. This film also has a great look to it. It really has some nice tones for a horror movie (not exactly original but very nice).  I also enjoyed several of the interesting camera angles in this one. This movie is brutal! The first 13 minutes make up for all the faults of Texas chainsaw massacre part 4. R. Lee Ermey is great in this. I liked him in the remake but this one really shows more of his character and he plays it very well.

This movie shows the beginning of Leatherface and how the closing of the meat plant destroyed the town leaving the Weavers as pretty much the only people left. Two couples are travling through town when they get in a wreck. R. Lee Ermey who has taken over as sheriff kidnaps them and takes them back to his house for dinner (to eat them not serve them).  All of the TCM sequels tried to show a disturbed family but they all pale in comparison to this one. Finally we see how really crazy this family is without so much cheesy acting. This movie provides everything you want from a Texas chainsaw massacre film and more.

Overall 8

Gore 8

Fun 7

Creepy 8

Scary 7

deaths less than 10

ending 8

Rewatch 8

Review by Elvis Lawson

The Texas chainsaw massacre (2003)

This is the remake of the Tobe Hooper classic form 1974. I was a bit dubious upon first hearing about this, in part because I loved the original so much and in part because I was unsure how Michael Bay would do with it. As with many of my reviews of remakes I will be comparing this to the original as much as reviewing it in its own right. To start with I actually liked the intro much better. It is obvious from the get go that a larger budget and a modern acceptance of horror movies has given this movie a much more talented cast(not that it is full of Oscar winners). I like the plot change about going to a concert vs going to their grandparent’s old house because I always wondered why someone would vacation to such a shitty house.

The new hitchhiker added a nice touch and shot through the hole in the head was great (not the most original but great none the less) but I still prefer the original crazy guy. The first killing kept to the brutalness and ferocity of the original which I loved. The second started with the more drawn out fight scene type that are more popular. Not really sure I like showing leather face’s face. The unknown was a nice added bit of terror in the original. Was he normal or not? I mind this less I must say after the prequel but more on that in another review. There was some pretty gritty and great horror and gore scenes in this movie, particularly Leatherface wearing her boyfriend’s face as a mask. I don’t really get the little kid. I think the film could have gone along fine without him. Sure he was a bit creepy but just seemed unneeded. R. Lee Ermey is great in this film (even better in the prequel). This is also a beautifully shot film.I like the ending with the documentary but the movie ending was not great (although it had a nice startle fright) I prefer the more bleak ending to the original. Overall I would say this was a very worthy remake and in some ways outshined its predecessor. While I still prefer the original I am sure this will appeal more to a younger crowd and that is always good , as it gets more horror films the green light.

Overall 8.5

Creepiness 7

Scariness 7

Gore 8

Deaths Less than 10

Fun 7

Ending 7

Rewatch 8

Review by Elvis Lawson

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4: The next generation

Well on the outside this seems very promising. I can still remember when this first came out how excited I was. One of my favorite franchises was going to be reborn staring these two actors I loved so much in Dazed and Confused. While I remember being disappointed back then, until this reviewing I couldn’t remember why. I must have blocked this piece of crap from my memory back then and with good reason I must say. As I just mentioned, this stars Renée Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey very early in their career. Renee plays a young lady that gets stranded with her friends. They run into Mattew who is the local tow truck driver and crazed psychopath. I will admit that Mattew does a pretty good job at being a psycho but the writing is so bad that it doesn’t last long before you just want to punch the TV.

I am a man who can really enjoy a bad movie most of the time, but I have little patience for people screwing up good franchises by completely changes characters and putting things on film that don’t belong there. For starters I can’t possibly articulate how much I feel they fucked up Leatherface in this film. For starters they gave him a mullet. I could forgive that except the also turn him into a drag queen. What in the hell is that? I want Leatherface being crazy and sawing people up. I don’t want to see him putting on lipstick and wearing a dress! I will say though that this does have a good (one of the franchises best) Leatherface chase scene but that can’t come close to saving this.

This film also features some of the worse acting I have ever seen. The 2 preppy friends of hers were bad but Matthew’s girlfriend was so god awful I truly think she got the part because she would show her tits. I would chalk a bit of this up to the director as there was even some bad acting from Renee in some parts.  Over all the story is so terrible I don’t know how in the hell it got a green light. They ruined the entire folklore of the franchise by making the family wok for someone and whose grand idea was it for Matthew to have a remote control leg. That may possibly be the dumbest thing ever put on film. But don’t worry about all the stupid parts because if you make it to the end it gets even worse!

Overall 1.5

Creepiness 5

Scariness 4

Gore 5

Deaths Less than 10

Fun 1

Ending 1

Rewatch 1

Review by Elvis Lawson

H.G. Wells War of the Worlds

Written and directed by David Michael Latt who is building a modern B movie empire. This is not the Tom Cruise fueled remake of the original B-movie masterpiece, or even the original masterpiece. This is based on the H.G. Wells book like the others but pretty much made to ride the coattails of the Tom Cruise remake (as are lots of Latt’s  recent productions) This version stars C. Thomas Howell whose career  doesn’t seem to be doing so well as of late.

This version follows a similar story line to the others since they are all based on the same book. Honestly I like the non action parts of this version better than the big budget Tom Cruise remake. Sure the special effects in the big budget version were much better but these for the most part were surprisingly suitable. While not ultra realistic, I found they had a bit of nostalgia feel to them.  C. Thomas Howell was not as bad as I expected him to be and was pretty believable in parts. It is obvious that this was shot quickly and doesn’t have a ton of variation of sets but in an independent movie this is to be expected and they did pretty well for what they had to work with.

So while this movie was made to take advantage of the release and advertising of the Tom Cruise remake, I feel it holds up well and is a pretty decent B-movie. If you are tired of big stories being overshadowed by bigger special effects, then this movie is right up your alley.

Overall 6 (B-movie rating)

Gore 3

Deaths 10+

Fun 5

Ending 5

Rewatch 4

Review by Elvis Lawson

Bad Taste

After watching Dead Alive I decided to break out Bad taste which is Peter Jackson’s first film and a couple before Dead Alive. I must admit that while I remember enjoying the film many years ago when I first saw it, it loses a lot when compared directly to Dead Alive. It is in much the same vein as Dead Alive in that it is a comedy with horrific circumstances. It does have a bit of gore and I must say for a small but Jackson did ok (especially nice that he did the special effects himself)

Jackson obliviously learned a lot from this film because his writing and camera direction grew quite a bit from this to Dead Alive and even more-so to what he did in the Lord of the Ring trilogy. To be fair to all parties though, this was his only movie not to be co-written with his wife Fran Walsh. It shows how much of an impact she must have (especially on dialogue)

Bad taste is about a group of guys who hunt down aliens and weird things. They come across a town than has been invaded by aliens and turned all the farmers into zombie like creatures that like to kill and eat other humans. They plan to use human meat to start a fast food franchise. Most of the movie is the final fight scene which is pretty long and a little bit drawn out. This film does have some pretty good gore and some very funny moments but those are not enough to make up for some of the acting and writing unfortunately. Compared to other movies of his it lags but in comparison to other b movies of the genre it would stand up pretty well. Absolutely worth a viewing if you are a fan of his or a fan of splatter comedy.

Overall 6

Creepiness 7

Scariness 4

Gore 8

Deaths 10+

Fun 6

Ending 7

Rewatch 5

Review by Elvis Lawson